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 Post subject: Stag do
PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 1:49 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2012 6:42 pm
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Hey guys, I need a bit of advice. I'm having my stag do in April to Amsterdam for 3 nights and I'm going with my brother and a group of my mates, 6 in total and none of them know about my past. Im completely stealth. Therefore I'm pretty worried about what's going to happen. The usual stuff which would be a laugh to any normal group of lads, scares me as I'm worried about them finding out about me. I have had top surgery but have scars and haven't had any bottom surgery.
I have nightmares about staying in the room with them and having to get changed, them stripping me naked or them getting me a stripper who will take my clothes off.
Any advice on what to do so I can still have a good time but not get into any sort of awkward situation. Thanks


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 Post subject: Re: Stag do
PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 1:51 am 
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Have you spoken to your brother about your concerns? And is he quite close to your friends, or do you think he's likely to be left out of any plans? Hopefully he'll be able to keep an eye on things, and discourage them from doing anything that involves you ending up stripped, and/or will let you know if they have anything dodgy planned so you'll be better prepared to avoid it. Also, if he's your best man, perhaps it'll be more likely that the others won't do anything like book a stripper (and I suppose he could always claim to have booked a stripper as a surprise for the final night, if they seem keen on the idea, and then come up with some excuse about her cancelling at the last minute).

Would you be able to talk to any of your friends? Not to out yourself, but just to mention that you really aren't up for any stag do hijinks and basically try to make sure you have a few people on side to shut down any plans/to help you if anyone does try to do anything like pull your trousers down. You could also mention that you really don't want a stripper or to be put in any awkward situations that might displease your partner.

Perhaps you could feign illness or injury closer to the time, and try to make it clear that if you were to be grabbed/restrained at any point it would cause a lot of pain? Your brother could help with this, as well, by doing something like messing around wrestling with you (so it becomes obvious that grabbing you is going to cause pain).

Wear clothes that are intentionally awkward to get off. Button ups instead of zips, belts (that take a bit more time and effort to unbuckle rather than the kind that sort of easily unclip). Make sure everything fits well enough that they can't be suddenly pulled off. It might be a nuisance but you could also decide to make sure that you crash out in your clothes, rather than having to wear something to sleep in that would be easier for them to pull off.

Might sound boring, but you could also just try to make sure that you don't get too drunk. That will help you retain some control, so if your friends get rowdy and disregard any previous chats you've had or decide to try to do something, you'll be much better able to recognise and handle the situation.

Could/would you invest in a really good packer? There are some that glue on and look really realistic, but of course I don't know what they'd be like to wear (whether the glue would hold up well enough, or whether it could potentially cause more problems if your friends realise you're packing because it's fallen, or you've left it laying around, or because it's basically impossible to hide it from them if you are all sharing a room.

If you don't already pack, wearing a packer would at least mean that if someone is trying to strip you, it will feel and look like there's something there while you've still got clothes on, and you'd hopefully have a chance to escape.

Would you be able to book separate rooms/a double room for you and your brother? Just to ensure you have more privacy, and can lock the door to avoid being ambushed by surprise.


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 Post subject: Re: Stag do
PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 10:24 am 
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I think all of the above suggestions are good ideas. However, I wouldn't worry too much. I am sure that most of those things are just stuff that happens in films. I have loads of friends who have gotten married and been on stag dos, and they have never told me stories where anything like that has happened to them. If your group of friends know you well, and are really good friends, they will know that it is not really your character to do those sort of things. Also, like Sherlock said, discuss the concerns with your brother. He is your best man, and is going to want you to have a fun enjoyable evening and not be worried about what might happen.


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 Post subject: Re: Stag do
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 6:00 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2012 6:42 pm
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Gender ID: Male
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Thanks for your suggestions guys, it's much appreciated


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 Post subject: Re: Stag do
PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 5:57 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 6:49 am
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Gender ID: Transvestite Male
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As a genetic male, I've been on many stag do's and the best man dictates what happens. So, basically let him know your limits and everyone else falls into line! Don't be too concerned and above all have fun!


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